Davido and Wizkid
Davido and Wizkid are the two rich kids sitting at two ends of the bar and giving each other hostile but casual shout-outs. They’re not the worst enemies per say, the people in their entourage just secretly jeer them to out order the other.
2baba is that guy always sitting in front of the largest TV in the bar. He closes from work work early to come help the bar man set up for the night, so everyone has to greet him to get the latest match updates.
Chidinma is the cute girl always seated around loud boys. She’s not shy of the beer bottle, but what nobody knows is that she secretly begs the bar man to replace the actual contents of her beer with Sprite or Coke before they bring it to her table.
Mr Flavour is the creepy guy staring at Chidinma from a distance and waiting for her to get drunk and attempt to leave.
Falz is the guy acts way more drunk than he actually is. He always puts up a convincing performance too.
Sound Sultan is that guy in the corner who always orders plain drinking water. He doesn’t drink alcohol so he only really comes to the bar for the ambience. His sobriety makes him the second best person to get updates on social issues from.
Omawumi is the female anomaly that never gets drunk regardless of how much alcohol you feed her. Someone didn’t mean her well and tried to catch her slip once, but that conversation was never concluded. Not because she was tired of drinking, but because the person couldn’t keep up.
Tiwa Savage is the girl who keeps ordering drinks until the Billz go overboard. Then she starts spilling her emotions into the loudness of the bar. Everyone listens for sports but nobody offers to help her clear the bills or call a cab to get home.
Nobody really knows why he’s at the bar, but he won’t stop talking even though he can’t afford any drinks.
We can neither confirm, nor deny if Niyola pays for her drinks.
M.I is that guy who thinks the younger bar regulars owe him a bottle because he bought alcohol for them as under aged teenagers.
Pasuma is that guy that demands his table to be set outside and declares free booze for everyone curious enough to sit with him.
Olamide only drinks beer with his shirt off, he’s that guy in the back giving commentaries about everything and everyone. He’s one of the few insiders who occasionally gets curious enough to see what Pasuma is up to.
Daniel is that guy the bar man constantly demands an ID from, because he has a new age on every time he shows up at the counter.
The Okoyes are the identical twin brothers who dress posh and always approach the counter demanding exotic drinks, but their Nigerian accent gives them away every single time.
Yemi Alade is that girl that orders locally brewed liquor and palm wine just so that people can see her and respect her for buying naira to grow naira.
Nobody could believe their eyes the first day they saw Lil Kesh drink alcohol. And his mouth? Filthy as sin.
Iyanya is that guy that needs to get drunk to approach the women in the bar. He does this by taking off his shirt to display his packs.
Korrede Bello orders 50cl Mirinda every time.
Harry is the brukutu man who wants to sit with the post-university kids drinking Martini and taking Tequila shots.
Everybody knows KCee’s elder brother bought him his first bottle beer, he has been sipping that same bottle ever since
Vector is the one drinking Hennessy now, but everyone knows he started off only able to afford Goldberg.
Ice Prince is that guy who boasts about how well he can handle alcohol but is always mixing his Smirnoff Ice with Fanta.
Eva Alordiah has spent so long at the bar trying to figure out what to drink, that the bar man found a way to keep her at the counter so male customers can buy more drinks.
Mayorkun is the guy that poses with the empty bottles Davido and his crew leave behind to post pictures with the hashtag #lastnight on social media the next morning.
Burna Boy and Cynthia Morgan
Burna Boy and Cynthia Morgan always arrive to the bar drunk and always try to stir up some ruckus.
D’banj used to matter so much at the bar, everybody once gathered round to hear the stories of his adventures. Now he comes around to say hi and can’r even get a wave back
Skales always arrives late and spends most of his evening trying to find a parking spot.
W is that guy that starts to dance after he gets drunk because he has run out of options to get everyone’s attention as a big boy
9ice used to come to the bar. He used to matter too…