Stalking Nigerian celebrities on social media always reveal the darndest things. In the past social media has turned beloved artists like Brymo out to be assholes, unmasked Sean Tizzle as a sexist hack and even served as a battleground for heated exchanges that often spiral into weeks of tabloid headlines. The latest we have discovered however is a serious matter of national concern and we implore your discretion.
As one of the few Nigerians having a spectacularly great year despite the odds, Wizkid as a person may seem larger than life. Thankfully, his Instagram still manages to show a relatively normal side to him. Sure, occasionally there are models that look like physical manifestations of the word ‘perfect’. And other times, a feed of three pictures posted barely a few hours apart may have been uploaded from different time zones. But all-around, Wizkid’s Instagram gives a pretty regular guy outlook to his public persona.
The only thing out of place, however, may be an inherent bad smell we have reason to believe is always oozing around Wizkid when his pictures are taken. How we discovered this? Well, we skimmed through many months of Wizkid’s Instagram to find one particular pose constant across nearly 9 months.
And this one
Or in another variation, this one
As you can see, someone in this poor young man’s life is trying to kill him with the smell of their stinking mouths or unwashed bodies or constipated stomachs from eating too much Ewa Agoyin. These events have occurred repeatedly over many many months and we have strong reason to believe the culprit is Wizkid’s designated photographer.
To prove our claim, let’s examine some of the worst instances.
That time Wizkid the smell hit him like Oshogbo weed
Eyys did you drink gutter water?
Wiz was so traumatized, they had to call up Caro to console him
That time he went full Ninja to protect his nose from emotional trauma
That time he thought he was going to survive by keeping a distance, but the stench hit him anyway
Even from there?
That time only Runtown didn’t get the memo
Even though new bae Justine Skye did
That time the photographer swore the smell wasn’t coming from his brown teeth
We can’t ignore the time his photographer finally promised to use soap and water but he returned the next day smelling like stale fish
And even worse he hired a new photographer but nothing changed.
We don’t know if his management is already pulling strings to protect Wizkid from certain death by choking, but we must add that though science claims meteors killed the dinosaurs, we know that pre-historic humans had no toothpaste nor toothbrush.
Coincidence? LOL. No, we would think not.
From all of us at Sounds.ng, If you’re reading this, please buy mouthwash and body soap for Wizkid’s photographer.