So Today is Kiss Daniel’s birthday apparently and we’re singing
♫ Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you Danieeeel. ♫
♫ How old are you nooooow? How old are you nooooow? ♫
— Y! Online (@YNaija) April 19, 2016
In an interview with Ebuka Obi-Uchendu on Rubbin Minds, when asked about his age, the pop star who was born Anidugbe Oluwatobiloba replied that his team is in the process of putting out a press release regarding his age.
It been over a week and we still haven’t gotten our press release. In fact, we’ve waited for so long it feels like the second coming of Pastor Fatoyinbo’s robust response.
We understand they might be using carbon-dating. You know? that method scientists use to check the date of dinosaurs and Buhari. Etc. And it really does take time sometimes, especially as PHCN and fuel scarcity will most likely be a factor.
So we got to work too, you know, they do theirs, we do ours, and then compare.
Nigerian entertainers are so deep that they’ll find unbelievable depths even in shallow waters. Like how Don Jazzy explained the -Bucci in Dorobucci to mean fun, and how we’ll never know what the Koko stands for. Lets not even talk about Alingo.
So we started off we started off at the beginning, where Kiss Daniel started, ‘Woju’. Woju roughly translates to “look at my eyes/face”. Maybe he was telling us something about his age. So we looked at his face.
Here’s where we hit our first problem. Most of Kiss Daniel’s photos are so photoshopped you’d think he stepped out of the womb yesterday. Bouncing Baby Woju and all that.
So we searched for photos of him from media interviews, where video editors are too busy chasing editorial targets to start helping him Glo up.
Then we ran the photo through Microsoft’s Age Detection App. The first photo gave us this.
And then the second gave us.
Both gave us 29. And it makes perfect sense, because while his current Wikipedia page says he is just 21 and didn’t see the June 12 elections, the old age used to read 28, indicating that he’d be 29 today.
We are just here hoping the age reduction has nothing to do with being the Headies Next Rated. Just hoping.
But don’t take our word for it, because when we ran a third photo.
It said he’s 39.
Dear Kiss Daniel, whatever year you choose to be born, make sure you thought it through so you never have to edit that Wiki page again. Haters will say its false.
Originally published on PartyJollof